I was busy picking up around the house when I heard her little voice call out to me. When she asked if I would come lay down with her I eagerly jumped at the chance to crawl in bed with her. It is one of my favorite things to do, snuggling up close to my children to take a nap. Sadly, I don't always do it. Sometimes when they ask I tell them no.
Leah's favorite place is nestled right up in the crook of armpit. She is not the best at taking naps but if I lay down with her she will fall asleep. I don't know what it was about today. If it was the way her tiny hand grabbed mine and wrapped it around hers. Or if it was the way she asked me to stay with her forever. Or if it was the way her hair smelled of a hard days play. I just felt sad and when she finally fell asleep I started to sob. They were the kind of tears that come all the way down from your gut. I was making the bed shake so hard I thought I was going to wake her up from her nap.
I started to wonder if I yell at my kids too much? I started to worry if my kids will hate me when they grow up? I started to wonder about all the mistakes I am making. It is so unbelievably hard being a good mom and wife. My only hope is that someday everybody will realize I do my best and they will know that it all comes from a place of love. Really that is all any woman can hope for right? I am not perfect, obviously. But I try. I just hope that will be enough.
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1 comment:
It is and it will be. You do a wonderful job at both. We all appreciate and love you very very much. And you probably could yell a little more... Love you,
Drew
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